


Everyone lives

by Hacereadsenochian (Grannahreadsenochian)



Category: Irondaddy, RWBY
Genre: Cinder gets ignored, Crack, Emerald/Merc implied, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone is invited, Fluff, Fluff n' stuff, Glynda/James too, If That's What You're Into, Penny is alive, Phyrra is alive, Pure Crack, Roman and Neo also could be implied, Roman is alive, Sleepover AU, Take it as you will, everyone is happy, shameless crack, that's not official either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:46:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grannahreadsenochian/pseuds/Hacereadsenochian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Protagonist and Antagonist host a slumber party together and several good/evil/neutral supporting characters are invited."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everyone lives

Ozpin walked into the room and nearly had his head taken off by a flying pillow. Okay, the pillow maybe wasn't that deadly, but it looked much more threatening when it was coming right at one's head.   
Glynda stood to the side of the room, looking very cross. Her head turned as pillows went flying. She crossed her arms and uncrossed them and clenched her fists at her side and growled softly.   
"Glynda, what a surprise." Ozpin said, lifting to his lips the mug he always seemed to be sporting. "I didn't know you were invited."  
"Like I would let these... kids... throw a sleepover unattended." Glynda muttered. "Why are you here?"   
"I wouldn't miss all this fun." Oz said, motioning around the room. "Not in a million years."   
"Professor!" A voice shrieked, and a dog came hurtling across the room. Small hands grabbed it moments before it hit Ozpin, saving him from his second near-death experience that night. "I'm so glad you came!" Ruby yelled, keeping Zwei in a stranglehold. "I thought you were dead!"  
"We all thought you were dead." Blake said, coming up behind Ruby with a smile.   
"For a short, blissful moment." Emerald said, glaring at him. Mercury smirked at her. Her annoyance always filled him with joy. Neo, sitting on top of the dresser, swung her legs and peered cheekily at Em.   
"Yes, well, it's going to take a lot more than some fall-maiden powers to kill this old man." Oz assured them, smiling at their attention.   
"Just you wait." Cinder said dramatically from her corner, her narrow eyes and confident smirk completely ignored by the others.   
"Hey, where'd everyone go?" Yang asked, popping up from a pile of pillows, blankets, and random appliances. "I thought we were having a brawl-" She saw Ozpin and broke into a grin. "I knew it. "Somebody owes me." She sang. Weiss growled, growing more like Glynda every second, and forked over a wad of... ammo?   
"Well that's not very nice, betting on a man's life." Roman said, leaning on the door frame.   
"Ugh, who invited him?" Merc asked, craning his head around towards Cinder.   
"No one." Roman answered for himself. "I came because someone forgot her snack in the Torch-mobile." Neo hopped over to him and accepted his offering graciously. She blinked at him.   
"Oh no, I couldn't." He said exaggeratedly, holding his hands to his chest. "I have so much work to do, robbing stores, plotting my rise to wealth and riches- besides, I wouldn't dream on infringing on you all."   
"Oh what the hey!" Ruby giggled, pulling him into the throng. "The more the merrier!" Roman stumbled after her and gave Neo a quick thumbs up behind his back. She winked and nodded. Operation Get-Roman-Into-The-Party was a success.   
"Roman." Cinder stepped out of her shadow for a brief moment to risk an evil comment. "I should've known you'd try to sneak in here."   
Once again, her comment was lost as everyone flocked around Neo to see what she brought. Licorice.  
"No one even likes those!" Merc complained, lounging on Weiss's bed.   
"Hey, shoes off the covers." Weiss ordered.   
"Uh, do you guys hear that?" Blake asked shakily, her ears cocked towards the door. It was a cacophony of dishes clanging and shrill voices yelling at each other and ironically-flattering insults being thrown, and through it all, one kind female voice trying to pacify everyone and make friends of all.  
"It's about to get very, very crowded in here." Ruby whispered.  
"Brace yourselves!" Yang said excitedly, smashing her fists together.   
Roman backed away from the door nervously, glancing at Neo. She sucked on a licorice stick and shrugged happily.   
A mass of bodies fell through the doorway. Everyone stared down at them for a moment, then the pile started moving and groaning and complaining.   
"Get your cute butt out of my face!" Jaune cried, shoving Neptune away from him.   
"Get your pretty face out of my butt!" Neptune retorted, stumbling to his feet.   
"My paaaannncaakkessss!" Nora wailed, looking at the mess spread out before her. Jaune shrugged.   
"We'll still eat them."   
Weiss shuddered. "Eeewww."  
Sun poked his head in the window, next to where Blake was standing.   
"Hey."   
Blake nearly jumped out of her skin.   
"Sun!" She yelped. "Why?! Why do you always do that???"  
"Because it still gets you." He answered, lowering himself down onto the windowsill.   
"And you're cute when you're scared." Merc offered, completely nonchalant about it.   
"She's always cute." Sun snapped. "And stay out of this, egg head."   
"Ooooh, egg head." Emerald said. "That was truly hurtful."   
"No one asked you." Roman said. Neo smiled down at her.   
"Come on guys, this is a happy night." Phyrra said, hands clasped in front of her chest. "Let's all just get along, alright? Friends, and Enemies, and Jaune-"  
"Hey!"  
"Let's all put aside our differences and have fun."   
"Here here." Ozpin offered his mug for a cheer. Neo offered a limp licorice stick for a cheer.   
"Are we watching a movie now or what?" Neptune asked, holding up his copy of Titanic.   
"Oh Neptune." Cinder stepped forward yet again. "You'll know what you need to when you need to know."   
Jaune blinked. "What?"  
Cinder clenched her hands at her side and groaned. "Ugh, fine!" She cried. "Yes we're going to watch a movie now. Way to ruin the dramatic moment!"  
"Oh I'm sorry, did I intrude on your evil?" Jaune sniped. "My apologies."   
"Uh, guys?" Ruby piped up timidly. "We don't... have a tv."   
There was a moment of silence.   
Roman lifted his finger.   
"Give me ten minutes, I'll find you guys a tv. Whaddaya want, flat screen, 42 inch, plasma-"  
"No." Glynda and Oz said simultaneously.   
"This is why you need adult supervision at these sorts of things." Glynda hissed.   
"We have a tv." Phyrra offered.   
"You do????" Every head turned to her. "Since when?" Weiss asked.  
"Since we moved in, I think. I don't know, it just sort of showed up."   
"It was a betrothal gift." Ren said.   
"I turned it down." Phyrra added sheepishly.   
"Hey, proposal tv or no, does it still play blu-ray?"   
"Of course it doesn't play blu-ray Neptune, no one even likes blu-ray." Nora said.   
"Hey, watch it." Neptune said, his eyes narrowed. "That's my fav you're talking about."   
"Even if you have a tv, what are we gonna do? Unplug it, move all the crap blocking both our doors, maneuver it out of our room, maneuver it into this room, find somewhere to plug it in? For all that work we may as well go with Roman's plan and steal one!"   
Roman opened his mouth again.   
"No!" Oz and Glynda chorused.   
"You won't want to miss this next part." Cinder said, leaning in to Ruby.   
"We could do that." Phyrra agreed calmly. "Or whoever wants to watch the movie can just go into our room and watch it in there."   
"Oh. Yeah we could do that. Phyrra, I knew there was a reason I liked you." Jaune said, smiling.   
"I know." Phyrra answered, pleased.   
"You heard the man, Titanic showing in our room in five minutes." Ren said.   
"Yeah, whoever wants to bawl like a baby, come on over!" Nora added gleefully.   
"And whoever wants to get their butts kicked in a fight to the pain, come find me!" Yang announced. Everyone cringed.   
"Started without us?"   
Everyone looked at the doorway, frozen.   
"James." Oz said, stepping into action. "How nice of you to join us. Glynda isn't this nice of James?"  
Glynda grunted and rolled her eyes.   
"Oh, I can't stay." Ironwood said, hands clasped behind his back. "Although I do appreciate it. Actually I came to see the kids, I was hoping I could have a word."   
"James, this is hardly the time-" Ozpin started, but Ironwood looked past him towards the kids.   
"Students, I would just like to say how grateful I am for all you've done for us, for your school, for Vale. You really went above and beyond, showing impressive resistance against the enemies that tried, and failed, to destroy us." He looked at the handful of conspirators. "No offense."   
Roman rolled his eyes.   
"Now I can't offer you much, but I wanted to give you some sort of compensation for your truly noble efforts."   
"Oh, James." Glynda piped up. "What could you possibly offer these kids that they would want?"  
"A tv?" Yang suggested hopefully. Ironwood smiled at her.   
"I'm afraid not." He said. "Though I hope you won't be too disappointed. Actually, I thought perhaps-"  
"Salutations!" A head peeked inside the doorway.   
"PPEEEEENNNNNYYYYYYYYY!" Ruby threw herself at the girl.   
Ironwood had prepared more of a speech, but what can you do when your daughter/robot cuts you off to let her friends know she's alive. He smiled helplessly at Ozpin. Then he turned to leave.   
"Oh don't go!" Penny said, seeing him turn. "I want you to meet my friends! And... the others." She glanced at Cinders gang.   
"Yeah, stay!" Yang said.   
"Thank you, but I must decline." James said politely. "I'm afraid I'd be no fun at a sleepover."   
"You guys, grab him!" Ruby launched herself at Ironwood, who only had a split-second to feel true terror, before she was hanging off the ground, her arms thrown around his neck. Nora cackled and dragged him down, clinging to his leg. Penny laughed/giggled, completely blissful, surrounded by all the people she loved the most, and hated the most too.   
And then Ironwood felt himself falling. He couldn't fight this, there were too many, they were too terrifying, he didn't know what to do. What was happening? Was Nora licking his leg? No, that was a dog-  
"Oh no." He gulped. And they were pulling him into JNPR's room, to sob over Titanic. His eyes met Oz, one last, desperate attempt to live. "Ozpin, help." He begged. Oz looked away and sipped his drink guiltily. And Ironwood disappeared.   
The others, everyone not accosting the General, smiled among themselves and followed into the room.   
Qrow and Winter stood frozen, staring at a group of kids shrieking and laughing and dragging Ironwood across the hallway. They exchanged a glance. Winter shook her head vehemently. Qrow nodded yes. Winter said "No!" Qrow ignored her.   
"Kick his butt Ruby!" He yelled, right before Winter pulled him in the other direction.   
"Weiss, help us!" Was the last thing they heard. 

Eventually the kids all calmed down a bit and curled up together. Blake and Sun sat out on the windowsill, wrapped in a cute but gag-me-please embrace. Weiss and Neptune sat on the bed, Neptune sprawled across it, Weiss sitting more properly. Neo offered Roman a licorice stick. He made a face. Penny sat in between Ruby and Yang, and Phyrra and Jaune sat close by, leaning against each other. And Nora fell asleep on Ren, and missed the crying. And Glynda went all soft on Ironwood and didn't kill him when he sat next to her. And Ozpin chuckled quietly to himself and sipped his drink mysteriously because he always knows something secret.   
Everyone was happy, okay. And alive.


End file.
